Episode 15

EP 15 We are Church Girls- Part 2: Choosing, Leaving and Handling Conflict

Published on: 19th July, 2023
  • Connection Card Question
  • Lauren’s experience finding their family’s new church  
  • The process of finding a home church
  • Deanna and Erika’s experience never choosing a church before
  • The Word ministry of a church is number one
  • Every other aspect of a church and it’s offerings falls back on how the Word is prioritized and taught
  • What are the doctrinal beliefs of the church?
  • What is the leadership structure and personnel of the church?
  • Sit down with the pastor and have an honest conversation about how your family could grow and serve in that church?
  • Balancing out the primary, secondary and tertiary beliefs
  • Serial dating church
  • Consumer mentality
  • Pray about it
  • Don’t make this decision quickly
  • It’s a luxury to get to search out and choose a church
  • The “dont’s” vs the “do’s” list
  • How to Biblically handle conflict within the church
  • Conflict is inevitable, including the church
  • Most people do not leave a church biblically or ethically
  • Conflict: personal tiffs vs church discipline
  • The CLEAR way in scripture to handle conflict is actually really simple, we just don’t want to do it 
  • If you can’t let it roll and give grace, then you go straight to the person, in the right frame of mind
  • Restoration is the goal, not to win or be right
  • Conflict with those in leadership
  • Go to the offender, ask if it’s a good time now or set up for a better time where both of yall are in the best place mentally, emotionally and spiritually to handle the conflict, do not catch them off guard 
  • Erika’s rant as pastor’s kid
  • Always go straight to the one who has offended you, do not pull in others prior to the person you have an issue with privately
  • Legit reasons to leave a church
  • Pray about it in length, it is not to be taken lightly
  • You leaving the church affects the whole church, not just you
  • Personal preferences are not a good Bible reason to leave
  • Don’t say you’re finding another church as a cover up for leaving the Church as a whole
  • Do not leave with complaints or criticisms, and do not talk poorly about your old church to your new church, even if it is a legit reason
  • Go to leadership and talk with them before you leave
  • Tell your pastor first, tell him the real reasons your leaving
  • Do not leave without reconciliation, don’t leave hurt in your wake
  • Leave with grace for that church, its leadership and people
  • Change of leadership
  • Confirm you are sitting under someone you can trust to lead you and your family Biblically 
  • Major on the majors, minor on the minors
  • What your choice is based on to pick a church, is the reason you will leave the church
  • If you base it on how you are being served, you’ll be leaving soon
  • Why you choose a church is ultimately why you leave a church
  • Leaving should not be a common occurrence, church hopping is real but wrong
  • Fun Cup Question

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About the Podcast

The Iron Women
Three Generations
Welcome to the table, where three women of three generations are navigating together how to pursue God as Father, Jesus as Lord, and Spirit as Shepherd through every stage of life.
It doesn’t always look pretty and it’s never perfect, but we’re always aiming to sharpen each other as iron on iron. So sister: Pull up a chair, settle in and get ready to grow with us in today's episode of “The Iron Women.“

About your host

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Lauren Henriques

Lauren moved to to a small South Carolina town with her family three years ago to be closer to the mountains, so she thought. Unbeknownst to her, God had some bigger plans to deepen her passionate pursuit of Christ by propelling her forward in her understanding of the word of God through a local church. Lauren has always been a passionate, fun-loving, energetic encourager at her core! She has been zealously pursuing a relationship with Jesus Christ for just over 14 years after He saved her from a life rooted in recklessness and addiction. She now serves on the Women's Ministry team at her local church as the Media coordinator and continues to hone her skills and learn how to become a bible teacher in her local community. Lauren also owns and operates a small media company where she takes advantage of the opportunity to share Christ with people who may never ordinarily step foot through the doors of a church. She uses every opportunity she can to love God and love people passionately.